Is it a setback or an opportunity?

The doorbell rings and FedEx drives away.

With eager anticipation, I rip open the envelope to look over the contents.

Background:  I’m trying to refi my house so I can get my ex-wife off of the loan.  It’s been a long time since the divorce and she is still tied to the house.  In order to get this refi to happen I need to have at least 20 percent equity in the house so the loan to value is 80.   I have overpaid for years to get the balance down and I always tell my friends that if you want to really commit to someone, buy a house with them.  It’s not easy to get them off of the loan and thankfully my ex is very understanding of the predicament.  But I imagine, she would like to buy a house someday and this loan will hinder that effort.   

The last time I tried for a refi, my loan to value was still not good enough so I worked hard on paying down the balance to get me to where I needed to be.

Now to present day

I’m where I need to be financially, interest rates are going up and I felt it was time to try again.   Based on my last appraisal, I felt that I should be able to get it done.

I was wrong

The package delivered by FedEx was my appraisal and was the key to this whole thing so no pressure.   It came in even lower than the last one almost two years prior and the housing market has only gotten more hot during that time.  Needless to say, I was surprised, disappointed and just a little pissed off.   I can go into a whole op-ed piece about he merits of appraising a house using comps and such but that isn’t the point.

So what is the point?

I won’t let my happiness be dependent on the actions of others such as this appraiser and the status of the loan.   I could have made the choice of being the victim regarding this situation and let it ruin my day, my weekend, my week.   What I did do was let the anger and frustration flow and I acknowledged it and the let in flow out of me just as quickly as it flowed into me.   As Abraham says, I cleaned up my vibration.

Setback or opportunity?  Some would see this as a setback but it really is an opportunity and I’m grateful for what I have learned from it.

What have I learned?

I have learned that I can handle things not going exactly as planned and that I can move forward. (something I wasn’t good at years prior)

I learned that I could have done more to get my balance down

I know that this is the way it was supposed to happen and everything is working out for me and I will be OK no matter what.

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