Years ago, my best friend told me he was no longer enjoying my company and that he wanted some space. At first, I took this news to be a phase. We have had our ups and downs but our friendship was for over 25 years, he was like my brother. In time this would all work and I was certain that this wasn’t permanent. So I gave him space and reached out from time to time only to be ghosted without a response. Thirteen years later, he apparently still needs said space and the truth is we are no longer friends and I have to accept this.
How did this all happen?
What leads us to a place like this where we feel the need to cut someone out of their life for good? There weren’t any big blowouts or betrayals that would cause something like this. My theory is that it’s the little things that annoy us or piss us off throughout the relationship and they don’t get addressed. It keeps building up in our minds until it’s to much, we’ve had enough and rid oneself from the relationship. Maybe we just outgrew each other and he was ready to move on to a new chapter in his life. A combo of both? One can get in the weeds of speculation in trying to determine someone else’s intentions and that is a road that never pays dividends. All I can address is the facts; he no longer wanted to be friends.
Stop holding on to something that isn’t there.
If you have read past posts, you may have noticed that I have a bit of trouble letting things go. You may also have noticed that I’m being intentional in ridding myself of drama that doesn’t serve me anymore. I’ve held onto the hope of reconciliation for almost 13 years and it hasn’t served me. Only creating discord in my heart and mind that I’m too old and too tired to carry. What I thought was temporary was, in reality, permanent and I’m finally ready to close this chapter in my life. I’ll look back on our friendship with love, sadness and much gratitude for how it shaped who I am today. Today and in the future, I will focus on nourishing the relationships that I have and not wait for the ones that are no longer.