Self-Talk: What are you really telling yourself

Here’s an experiment for you and for me. Don’t listen to the people around you and pay attention to the words you tell yourself. I consider myself a fairly positive person and have worked hard to do so; was very cynical in my younger years. However, I have found that maybe I’m not as positive as I thought myself to be.

Things I’ve said to myself over the past month/year

• Be realistic
• Dream on
• Maybe it’s not meant to be
• I don’t fit in
• I’m embarrassed
• I’m too late
• I don’t have the energy/I wish I had my “young” energy again
• I just don’t have it.
• I don’t belong
• I don’t trust…. (insert whatever or whoever here)

Just a sample of some of the many thoughts that pass through my mind. Compare this to how my self talk was in ten years ago, this list is a display of out of control optimism. Maybe a bit of exaggeration but this was, or thought tried to rationalize that it was an improvement.

Time To Raise The Bar

Since my self talk has been so negative in the past, I’m realizing that I’ve rationalized this as an improvement and good enough. Because at first glance, these words aren’t very harsh but as I dig deeper they are doing damage, one little dig at a time. Eventually it builds up and and I’ve figured out this type of thinking is keeping me from moving forward on projects and goals I would like to accomplish. Long story short; I’m holding myself back.

Challenge Your Thoughts

Does anything that I’m saying resonate with you? What does your list look like? The old saying that “We are our own worst critic” is true. Take a step back and observe your thoughts, don’t judge, just observe and discover whether or not we are our own worst critic. It’s time to challenge those old thoughts and turn:

• “I’m too old” to “It’s never too late; I have time”
• “I’m too young” to “I have new and fresh energy and ideas”
• “I don’t fit in” to “I am comfortable with myself and will transcend”
• “I don’t trust” to “I believe in my talent and ability

There are so many things in life that we worry and have anxiety about, much of which we can’t control. We can, however, have a say and control what we think. Be aware and be kind to yourself.