Taking Chances and Being Vulnerable

I’m going to do something that is completely out of my comfort zone but so necessary. I’m going to ask my wife to read my next post before I publish it to this blog. Why is this news? Well usually, I write, re-read, make changes and publish when I feel it’s ready and hope for the best. The thought of someone reading and critiquing what I write, while I wait? The feeling of dread and apprehension is overwhelming. Logically, I know I will benefit from this breaking avoiding this uncomfortable step in writing. The truth is I have little to lose and I know my wife is a safe space. Mentally, this is something that has kept me from creating in the past and the roadblock needs to be done away with.

What Am I Afraid Of?

I take way too much stock in what people think of me and whatever I’m create. For as long as I remember, I have been horrible at receiving feedback and criticism; especially from someone who is close to me. No matter how well intentioned and sugar coated the critique, my initial reflex is to take offense, be defensive or be crushed. To my credit, I do warm up to the ideas in time and if they make sense, I will adopt these suggestions that have been put before me. This method is not sustainable and I would rather not alienate the people in my life who are willing to help. Breaking a cycle is always hard and the first time getting outside the boundary can daunting. My hope is this will further aid my writing and boost my confidence.

Began the day without an ounce of energy; HELP!

Picture of green grass in the background with the word RESET written in the middle.

Let me know if you can relate

I Wake up after a seemingly good night’s sleep only to find myself running at half speed; no energy. I often use the analogy that I’m a eight cylinder engine but only six are running at the moment. Today, it was more like three and I’m not moving very well. Today is not looking good with little hope that coffee will bail me out.

It was like I was drugged

I was lethargic and every move that I made took every bit of energy and focus that I had. I just wanted to close my eyes and go back to bed. It felt as if someone laced my coffee with a ton of NyQuil or Benadryl; this was going to be a long day.

I needed a reset

Just like an old Windows computer that is running wonky, I needed a reboot, a restart to refresh my memory and start all over again. No clue how to reboot. Maybe a nap but not time and sometimes just makes things worse. After some thought, I remembered something that I heard about on Hubermanlab and have used to help me push through a sluggish afternoon; Yoga Nidra. Twenty minutes was all I needed and the change in my day was transformational and I don’t use that word lightly. My day that I was ready to write off and just push through, has been productive and an all around good one. My attitude was better, my energy level and motivation was back.

Will these results happen every time I need I need a reboot? Maybe, maybe not. I can tell you that I have had success on many levels when doing the Yoga Nidra practice in the link below. I can tell you one thing, I have never felt worse after finishing a session. I’m always curious and like to find out new methods; what do you do to reboot your body and mind?

Links:

Happy New Year. What’s your resolution?

Happy New year to you and yours. Keeping in line with tradition, I am compelled to ask, “What is your New Year’s resolution?” My wife asked me about resolutions a while back and I gave her a pretty cynical answer. “I don’t do resolutions because I don’t believe in ceremonial goals that will be forgotten by February” is what I said, in a nutshell. I do believe that if you have a goal, start on it as soon as you can and not wait for the new year or a “special moment” to start your goal. There is, however, something alluring about the new year and a fresh new start.

list of new years resolutions

So do I have a New Years Resolution?

I wouldn’t say that I have an official resolution but I do have goals and by coincidence, I’m finding the clarity and motivation to pursue said goals this new year. But I won’t call it a resolution because I’m afraid I’ll jinx it. Yes, I’m a bit superstitious and am not taking any chances.

What is it?!?!

I’m on the latter end of my career of 26 years of being an IT professional and you can confirm this with anyone close to me; I’m counting down the days until retirement (3.5 years to go but whos counting?). This pining for retirement has created a bit of a miserable atmosphere around my job and my day to day. I’m not present and many times, thinking about the “when I retire” days. I call this “I’ll be happy when” sydonrome. Overall, I’m actually very happy and enjoying life and looking forward to this next chapter but maybe focused on it too much. The ultimate goal is to cease this obsession over retirement and enjoy the present moment(s). These next three years will be over before I know it and I’m done wasting energy and time. This blog will be one way of achieving the goal along with other creative outlets. I’m fortunate to have this opportunity and we’ll see where it takes me. Cheers!