Releasing Judgment

Happy New Year. What’s your resolution?

by Larry • 0 Comments

Happy New year to you and yours. Keeping in line with tradition, I am compelled to ask, “What is your New Year’s resolution?” My wife asked me about resolutions a while back and I gave her a pretty cynical answer. “I don’t do resolutions because I don’t believe in ceremonial goals that will be forgotten by February” is what I said, in a nutshell. I do believe that if you have a goal, start on it as soon as you can and not wait for the new year or a “special moment” to start your goal. There is, however, something alluring about the new year and a fresh new start.

So do I have a New Years Resolution?

I wouldn’t say that I have an official resolution but I do have goals and by coincidence, I’m finding the clarity and motivation to pursue said goals this new year. But I won’t call it a resolution because I’m afraid I’ll jinx it. Yes, I’m a bit superstitious and am not taking any chances.

What is it?!?!

I’m on the latter end of my career of 26 years of being an IT professional and you can confirm this with anyone close to me; I’m counting down the days until retirement (3.5 years to go but whos counting?). This pining for retirement has created a bit of a miserable atmosphere around my job and my day to day. I’m not present and many times, thinking about the “when I retire” days. I call this “I’ll be happy when” sydonrome. Overall, I’m actually very happy and enjoying life and looking forward to this next chapter but maybe focused on it too much. The ultimate goal is to cease this obsession over retirement and enjoy the present moment(s). These next three years will be over before I know it and I’m done wasting energy and time. This blog will be one way of achieving the goal along with other creative outlets. I’m fortunate to have this opportunity and we’ll see where it takes me. Cheers!

Anxiety, authenticity, be yourself

Midlife Crisis: I won’t Panic!

by Larry • 0 Comments

There’s a bit of reinventing myself or honing in on who I am at this point of my life. Some might say it’s a midlife crisis and maybe akin to that. I didn’t buy a sports car and didn’t run of with my secretary so at least I’m not cliche’.

Life is Good:

Life is good and I can’t put my finger on the unease and why am I feeling it… Maybe it’s because I’m used to the drama that I lived with in my previous life. I’m in a stable healthy relationship, I have a good job, my kids are doing well, I’m in a band and have fun with that… Just have the normal pains and stiffness of someone my age but nothing to get worked up over. So what is it? I’m realizing that I’m in the latter part of my life and I better make it count. My procrastinating nature has caught up with me and I’m starting to feel the pull to “make it count”. Just like an all nighter before that final exam, except this one is for keeps!

So what do I do? I keep telling myself not to panic. I’ve gotten this far and have done pretty well. I tell myself to soak it in and appreciate; stay present. Cliche’, yeah, but it means a bit more to me than 20 or 30 years ago. I don’t think I’ll ever be completely at ease and OK with where I am but I do like where I’m heading.

acceptance, authenticity, be yourself, gratitude, Lao Tzu, presence, Uncategorized

Tao Te Ching 9th Verse Thoughts

by Larry • 0 Comments

To keep on filling is not as good as stopping. Overfilled,
the cupped hands drip, better to stop pouring.

Sharpen a blade too much and its edge will soon be lost. Fill your
house with jade and gold and it brings insecurity. Puff yourself
with honor and pride and no one can save you from a fall.

Retire when the work is done; this is the way of heaven.

Wayne calls it “Living Humility” but another way of presenting this is living in moderation.

Moderation:

So take only what you need and ignore the Ego’s urging to take it all. Having it all is not sustainable because the Ego’s appetite is insatiable and will never be satisfied. Living in moderation is listening to your inner self, knowing when enough is enough.

Presence:

This can also be a lesson in finding joy and contentment on where you are in this moment instead of longing for more. Take solace in the fact that you are where you need to be at this moment and it’s perfect for you.

What this means in my life:

Maybe not having that 2nd portion in a meal; something I always regret because I end up feeling bloated and uncomfortable leading me to feel “overfilled” as Loa Tzu mentions.
When working in the yard or in my career I listen to my body and rest when needed. Pushing it as so many of us do, will wear one down over time and the blade that “will soon be lost” is my health and energy.
My motivation is internal and not external. Praise, money, love, etc.. from others is nice but is it ever enough? Only if the motivation and satisfaction is from within. Listen to your inner self and you’ll become aware of that feeling of a job well done and there isn’t a need to “Puff yourself.”
Finally, live with an attitude that at any time, I’m right where I’m supposed to be.

What does this mean in your life? How would you apply Verse 9 of the Tao Te Ching?

Tao Te Ching 8th Verse Thoughts